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These are good times for President Muhammadu Buhari and the Buharites who are privileged to manage his information machinery. What else can these Buharites, seasoned pros that they are, ask for when, in a pure Alice-in-Wonderland setting, their talisman product comes along with so much value and excellent packaging for a hungry, captive market?
Just merely showing face in Aso Villa, Nigeria’s seat of power, the President, in the first week of his administration, oozed a “body language” –– some newspeak in town –– of humongous dimension and reach. NEPA or its successor “disco parties”, long comatose and effete, began generating power of unimaginable quantums [of megawatts] never heard of in the land. And this was without the President, beyond well-practised frowns, lifting a finger! Today, this feat is being sustained and exceeded, all to the admiration of an appreciative citizenry. Thus, we may well witness, in a year or so, the export of this once scarce commodity to possibly the United States “West Germany”, France, India, Iran, Malta and South Africa –– all countries where the President of late, has taken Nigeria’s campaign of economic diplomacy.
Surely, Buhari is a miracle worker. When he assumed office, he found a Nigeria that was a modern-day version of the biblical valley of dry bones. Corruption walked the land, as he claimed he found it, like a colossus. Nothing, including elections (except, of course, the ones anointed and sponsored by Africa’s most honest party, APC), could be done without our omnipotent Corruption showing its devouring, tigroid fangs. It is understandable, in the circumstance, that in just a period of less than six months, he could so morally deodorise the rotten political space that our old, putrid dry bones did (Alleluyah!) rise again and out of their midst are now found brand new, “tear-rubber” saints as ministers and executives of state. A cabinet of holy knights in just under six months of assuming office! And none of them suffering the executive malady of noise making often associated with ministerial office in Nigeria!! Wow!!!
Yes, now government works. And, unlike in the bad days of yore when “clueless governance” reigned, this one works with the sonorous chimes but ruthless efficiency of a Swiss clock. By mere presidential proclamations and sheer body language, in place of the boring routine and mundane business of envisioned policy and timeous planning, the economy may have begun a sweet-heart goose-stepping to new heights. The administration’s economic magic is great. Thus, by the year 2020, the historic business of Vision 20 – 2020, planned to see Nigeria in the world club of the 20 most affluent societies, would have been achieved pretty easily, and all within the first year of the President’s second term.
When the good intentions and economic management of Helmsman Buhari are so damn good, who can look him in the face and dare criticize Nigeria in the little matter of creating jobs to wipe out unemployment in the land? Well, the factories are now busy and the youths, no longer in the devil’s crime workshops, are happy again chanting “Sai Buhari!” as unemployment of youths, once a staggering 30 per cent, may have vanished into the inconsequential domain of 2 per cent or something less. And the icing on the cake may have come, like manna, from two heavens whose keys the President also well controls. The first is the bail-out billions for states which suddenly became broke after this year’s elections. This manna is real sweet magic because it is conjured, all the same, from the empty coffers Buhari met on assumption of office. And the second is the billions (in any currency, perhaps) coming quietly from unidentified flying objects, UFOs, who may wear the earthly robes of “corrupt looters.” From the latest information from government quarters, these UFOs have voluntarily turned in enough money to belittle Fort Knox’s treasures…
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